Monday, June 04, 2007


HOW WILL YOU HANDLE IT?

Hi peeps, hope your weekend was good. Mine was great and i'm facing this week with a bang. It's really going to be a busy one for me. Here's a story i felt i should share and get advice for you from.

A younger close friend of mine spoke with me sometime ago about an issue that has been a source of worry and concern to her. Her father does not trust her. She has really been worried about it and has been wondering what could be responsible since she does not have a history of wrongdoings or anything she did to warrant this distrust from her father. Her father works and lives in the northern part of the country while the family resides in Lagos; fortunately, she got a job immediately after graduation that she loves which sometimes makes her close late or work on weekends but her dad even wondered ‘how’ she got the job before her youth service in the first place. Her father calls the family every evening and ensures he speaks especially to her to ensure that she’s either back home early or will be spending the night at home. She even got a job offer outside Lagos (Abuja) but her dad kicked against it, saying he didn’t want her to go and work where there are much older men with ‘prying eyes’ and he does not like the way they look at single girls.

I asked why she never confronted this mindset and express how this distrust makes her feel. This young lady responded by saying she really respects her dad and hates to hurt him. I asked her if she preferred to be hurt instead, then tried to tell her that she had held back from speaking up out of fear. She disagreed.

This lady is the first of three children; she has two younger brothers who don’t experience this constant scrutiny and bouts of distrust. I then wondered if it’s because she’s female. Her dad told her at some point to stop this job she enjoys when she had to sleep at a female colleague’s place on an occasion that she closed late; he blamed the mother for not been able to manage things in his absence.

My people, I gave this lady my honest opinion but I really want to read from you, how you would handle things if you were in this lady’s shoes, or what you will advice her to do. Comments? Advice? I’m waiting….