Thursday, November 23, 2006

Two days ago, after a full day at work, i ate dinner and decided to relax a bit in the living room before retiring for the night. Just as i started reflecting on how the day went, a male junior friend who was around for the night came to meet me and he asked how the day went, that question eventually ended up being an interview/counselling session.

He gave me a run down of his relationships with ladies and how all his attempts so far at sustaining a serious relationship have been far from being successful. The one relationship which kicked off was according to him 'called off abruptly' . This guy really wants to have an early relationship now that he's 'nobody' so that he can be sure that Miss Right will say Yes for the right reasons. This guy still has 2 years to go in the University but while in school, he has started and achieved success in various small businesses, he has investments and is very serious about being very successful. The lady that left him for a business associate of his did so giving the excuse that he wasn't there when she needed him most. This last statement is what makes it so painful for him. In fact, he feels he's unlucky about getting the right girl. Also, he doesn't attend a campus fellowship but a church in which he's one of the youngest, so he feels his options are limited and he wants to have a relationship with someone he knows well enough. He has role model couples that he looks up to (of course, i'm one of them ke!) and his desire, of course, is to be like them, or better!

The first thing i told him was that i didn't have the full picture especially of the incident with the girl who left him for a colleague. Definitely, if i meet the lady now, i'll get a different perspective. Anyways, i asked him a few questions and gave him my advice.

Before i spill it out, i'll want to take a few opinions and advice for this brother of mine. Is he too serious and needs to unwind a bit? Does he need to chill or what? I'm more than excited to take your comments.

Till then, keep it real!

10 comments:

Bolorunduro said...

Maybe that young man needs to have some intensive sessions with his creator. I believe he should be a religious person as most people in this part of the world are.

But I think the young man needs to exercise a little patience, even though i agree with him that there is a need to be in a ‘serious’ relationship before a young man establishes his empire.
Wishing him all the best!

Anonymous said...

I feel for my dear brother; I understand his standpoint. I am an advocate of getting hooked as a man of promise rather than as an established man BUT despite my believe, I have come to discover something powerful about marriage that has taken the fear far from me, without mincing words I know I cant marry the wrong person( does that sound like pride?).
Six years ago, I had just finished 200Level, everybody went home for the holidays but I decided to stay back in school just to enjoy fellowship with God, it was in the course of having this fellowship that i stumbled upon this infallible truth.
Once he has a good standing with God, let him go to sleep, time and space will deny me of publishing my full thoughts but I would be ready to help if called upon(dont forget consultation fee oo).

ODODO said...

Thanks people:
deolu - yes, he needs to focus on his business and not be in a hurry. No wrong reason to love? isn't that relative:?
kamal: Eyin le gan, you've been targeting the sistas as early as part 2:? thanks for offering to give counseling to a brother in need.
bolorunduro: intensive sessions with his creator will ensure that he's accurate with making decisions.
Overall, it's important to be the right person in order to attract the right person. You attract who you deserve. Keep developing yourself!

Anonymous said...

I think the brother should relax. If he keeps holding in his mind a picture of the kind of lady he does not want he will attract her because the mind produces whatever picture is imposed on it. I think he should get a picture of what he wants, commit it to God and keep meditating on it. In due course his Miss right will manifest.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I think he needs an inordinate amount of chill pill. I've since realized that frantic searching, especially in that department yields little to be desired.

Usually, the best of relationships blind side you, you know, when you're open minded but not particularly looking.

Believe me, I feel his pain for real but looking back on my life, the best relationships I've had have come at times when I was looking for something entirely different, do I hear someone say Serendipity? Well, I guess you could call it that.

Have him cool down, he'll meet her when the time is right and like Deji said, he's got to change the picture he's carrying about.

Anonymous said...

Tope, nice blog. see you and Deolu pretending as if you're just online pals. LOL.

My philosophy with relationship is - no unecessary rules. Let life be and continue living each day to its fullest with a good and friendly heart and you'll find out that you'll notice and be noticed

@biola.com said...

good things take a while, i vote that he chills too though i am not suppose to be an expert in these things.

ODODO said...

Thanks all
Deji, yes he has to have a picture of what he wants. thanks man

Luminus, i really should come for lyrical lessons from you cos you sure have a way with words.Sure he should avoid being desperate.

Gbeborun of Lagos (why that name Tunde?), been to your site before, cool one you've got there. I and deolu are online pals now, abi are we not? Your philosophy's cool, as long as it gets you your miss right.

Sure thing biola, good things do take a while. What do you mean? You've got the makings of an expert.

For helping my brother out, thanks, always knew i could count on you.

Anonymous said...

The Lord will send Him the right person and he should open his mind about it because you get the type of person you search for, he should not be too picky and be in a haste, the Lord will guide Him accordingly.....

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