COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Hi all! It’s really been a while i wrote an article on this blog and i can say certainly that it’s for good. My life has been full of a lot of events and not being a natural at writing, i found it difficult to juggle writing with my schedule.

A quick recap on 2007 fills me with awe and appreciation to God for making this year a year of years for me and my family, nuclear and extended. We increased financially, had weddings, birthdays and were blessed with the gift of a bouncing baby boy, Araoluwa (meaning God’s wonder), who was born on October 1. God is indeed crowning our year with goodies and he isn’t through with us yet, we’ve still got 25 days to go.

I have a personal tradition of writing down my goals at the beginning of every year; this year as i write, every goal i wrote down has become reality. Last year was almost an exact opposite but i didn’t give up, i took my pen and wrote again, and now, i’m glad i kept on. Now, it was not only writing that did it, it took me applying myself to ensuring that i achieved them all; of course with God's grace; i encountered times when i was justified to give up on some things, but i refused to give myself excuses; i didn’t spare myself and i thank God that now, i can smile.

There’s a saying that he who gives thanks for yesterday will receive more. I’m counting my blessings, and i know this is the lowest i’ll ever be.

I won’t be away for this long anymore, promise!

Ciao!

MONEY VS INFLUENCE

“A leak of gold in the desert sand is less than a cool fresh spring and to one lost sheep a shepherd boy is greater than the richest king”

Prince of Egypt (Original Soundtrack)

Money, from our economics class is a legal tender with which we exchange for goods and services. This definition seems so mild that it doesn’t seem to carry as much weight as it practically does. But you and I know that people have lost valuable relationships, property and lives as a result of money related issues. It’s so amazing and almost scary at times how much power and effect money has caused overtime and is wielding. A regular relationship becomes sensitive and the atmosphere, tense when money comes into the picture. You hear some people tell close family and friends categorically that they don’t joke with money issues. Some people start making money and their attitudes change. But, do their attitudes really change or actually come to the surface?

Money is powerful. It has tremendous capacity to resolve seemingly tough and impossible issues. When you have money, you reduce the stress you would normally go through in making purchases, you bargain less, or for some people, not at all; you can get anything done whenever you want it. Take Nigeria for example, someone who’s rich in Nigeria will get anything he/she wants – from houses and cars of your choice to a gatekeeper, a compound tender, a chef, laundry man, generator man (NEPA outage must never be noticeable, so his station is at the generator), house keepers, drivers…. the list is endless; in Naija, you can enjoy your money, my elder sister came over from the UK and acknowledged that Naija is sweet and the best place to enjoy your money; people respect you more and your money speaks for you. I went to visit a rich uncle of mine and was in his living room where he was gisting with some of his friends when one of them was citing a time when he went to visit one of his friends. He got there and noticed young men and ladies cladded in suits seated in the man’s waiting area. He got to his friend and asked who those people were. He laughed and replied ‘don’t mind them; they’re bankers from different banks wanting me to open accounts with their banks’. He told his friend to accompany him to see them.

As soon as they stepped into the waiting area, they all jumped on their feet. There were Branch Managers and Managers in different levels among them. The man turned to his friend and gave him a knowing smile, full of confidence. His money was speaking. He was having fun; the bankers were not, their jobs (target/next promotion) were on the line. Before now, banks had a minimum amount for account opening, below which they treated walk-in customers like beggars. Five years ago, I walked into a bank with over a hundred thousand naira to open an account that I wanted to use strictly for business. The lady that attended to me simply told me the minimum was 200k and got back to work. I felt horrible. Today, staff from that bank come begging me to open an account with them. If I had the money then, I would’ve gotten the account opened immediately with good customer service; hmmm… funny how people are sized up and some receive preferential treatment.

For influence, there are people within and outside this nation who are not rich but wield tremendous influence in different aspects of life; they are icons of strong values which they’ve stood for over the years that have made them achieve significance. People mention their names, read about them and are motivated to live purposeful, impactful lives. E.g. Wole Soyinka, Martin Luther King Jr., etc

But is it possible to achieve being wealthy and being strongly influential? Within my few years on earth so far, I’ve discovered that few people really desire to be wealthy; many can’t manage the status because it could mar their goals of living for what’s right and achieving true significance. So, the people in this class will rather be quite comfortable and still influence lives positively. The other class see money as a tool and they believe they can’t be too rich to lose their heads; they channel the money as it comes in, e.g. Bill Gates. Recently, Warren Buffet gave 80% of his money to Bill Gates because it was clear what he was doing with money. I believe that a life without a purpose and assignment to help others will end up being confused. That’s why there are a lot of rich people who have no clue what to do with money.

In summary, I believe strongly that not all will be wealthy, but all can influence lives. We all have an assignment, which is not short of good works, which God created us to do.

HOW WILL YOU HANDLE IT?

Hi peeps, hope your weekend was good. Mine was great and i'm facing this week with a bang. It's really going to be a busy one for me. Here's a story i felt i should share and get advice for you from.

A younger close friend of mine spoke with me sometime ago about an issue that has been a source of worry and concern to her. Her father does not trust her. She has really been worried about it and has been wondering what could be responsible since she does not have a history of wrongdoings or anything she did to warrant this distrust from her father. Her father works and lives in the northern part of the country while the family resides in Lagos; fortunately, she got a job immediately after graduation that she loves which sometimes makes her close late or work on weekends but her dad even wondered ‘how’ she got the job before her youth service in the first place. Her father calls the family every evening and ensures he speaks especially to her to ensure that she’s either back home early or will be spending the night at home. She even got a job offer outside Lagos (Abuja) but her dad kicked against it, saying he didn’t want her to go and work where there are much older men with ‘prying eyes’ and he does not like the way they look at single girls.

I asked why she never confronted this mindset and express how this distrust makes her feel. This young lady responded by saying she really respects her dad and hates to hurt him. I asked her if she preferred to be hurt instead, then tried to tell her that she had held back from speaking up out of fear. She disagreed.

This lady is the first of three children; she has two younger brothers who don’t experience this constant scrutiny and bouts of distrust. I then wondered if it’s because she’s female. Her dad told her at some point to stop this job she enjoys when she had to sleep at a female colleague’s place on an occasion that she closed late; he blamed the mother for not been able to manage things in his absence.

My people, I gave this lady my honest opinion but I really want to read from you, how you would handle things if you were in this lady’s shoes, or what you will advice her to do. Comments? Advice? I’m waiting….

Hi People, long time no write. Here's an article i started writing sometime ago but never got around to finishing it. Finally, thank goodness, here we are!

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

I’ve been faced with this question at different times in my life and at some points when I had to make major decisions pertaining to giving a name, changing names, different levels of information and awareness influenced my eventual decision.

I remember with great amusement when I was an adolescent in boarding school and I had a discussion with a group of friends about names, especially about English names; everybody took turns in mentioning her English name, would you believe that I cooked up an English name for myself at that instant? I look back now and laugh. I remember then blaming my parents silently under my breath for not giving me an English name. It was the in-thing then to sound ‘tush’ and ‘classy’. My parents never gave any of us an English name; they felt the native names held deeper and more profound meanings which now, i agree with. Also, after watching ‘ROOTS’ and seeing how Kunta Kinte was beaten to submission and told to take up an identity that was not alien to his, I learnt to cherish my roots and appreciate the value of our native language and the myriads of options available as far as names are concerned. These days, I hear some names and I give a meaningful sigh of appreciation; some of them are so meaningful that the full names are a phrase or sentence long .e.g. IGBEKELEOLUWAMUNRO (Trust in God makes me stand firm), OLUWASEUNBABARALAYEMI (God has done awesome things in my life)

On the other hand, some people give themselves or their children names that have absolutely no meaning. I met a couple about two years ago who just had a new baby, and while admiring the baby asked for the name. The name I was told sounded like an English nickname, so I asked what it meant, I was told it was a combination of the first three letters of the parents’ names. So? I wondered. So, what does it mean? Nothing! In this age? Sincerely, I wasn’t happy. I felt they didn’t utilize a lifelong opportunity to give the child a name that will, everyday it’s called, act as seeds that will grow into a great future. I was also gisting with a newly wed couple and discovered the lady was not from the part of the country I thought she came from. I expressed surprise and asked for her maiden name; her countenance changed and she responded emphatically that she wasn’t going to tell me, she later said she couldn’t and didn’t want to remember it! Meanwhile, she had been married for only a few months!!! I wondered what the meaning of that name could be and why she hated the name so much. It then hit me afresh how much impact a name could have on the bearer.

Whenever a person’s name is called and the person responds, he/she identifies with the meaning and influence behind the name. No wonder some people change their names after they have become full grown adults, they feel bound by the meanings of those names. So, am I telling you to change your name? Not necessarily, a truly liberated person will not be bound by a name which he/she was not party to giving to him/herself. I just think information about the importance of words should make us more careful about the names we give our new born children or even names that we just call people carelessly.

Words are Seeds, Names are Seeds. Think deeply before you give or identify with that name.

My name? TEMITOPE (My case deserves that I be thankful). What’s yours?

HEALTH TIPS

There's a general belief that if you don't experience serious breakdown in your health, you're good to go. But that is very far from the truth. There are certain signs that show you that you're on your way to some serious health conditions if they're not properly managed or corrected. Here are the warning signs:

1) You get tired easily and run out of breath on little physical exertion. This happens mostly to people who sit at their desk all day and then go home. Such people need to take a few minutes in the course of the day to walk around. Some people get dizzy on climbing a single flight of stairs. You need to register in a gym and resume aerobics classes. If the symptoms persist, you might need to visit the doctor who 'll take your blood pressure and might recommend you do an ECG test to check the condition of your heart.

2) You don't empty your bowels daily, and when you do, it's every other day, twice a week and with much difficulty. This shows you need to take fruits and vegetables at least every other day to enable your bowels move more easily. This definitely makes you feel lighter and healthier. Also, practice water therapy! For more information on this, check out my article on water therapy. Let me share a friend's experience on water therapy. There's an expected amount of water that should be taken first thing in the morning. This friend of mine took over and above the required quantity and drove to work in her brand new ride. Unfortunately, she was stuck in traffic and this lasted a while. You guessed right, she became really pressed and had to pack her ride and find a nearest house to obey the call of nature. O gosh! sure she has stopped it for a while now. Do, don't overdo!

3) You worry a lot. You seemed to be overwhelmed by your workload in the office, your project in your masters’ programme, your difficult spouse or child, etc. You need to take a deep breath and note that it’s grossly unwise to worry over something you don’t have control over. Prioritize. Listen to music, sing to yourself (don’t worry; nobody is listening, in case your voice is awful).

4) You can't remember the last time you had a good, hearty laugh. Most times, you even catch yourself frowning, a dose of good laugh is sure needed to relax your facial and body muscles and live longer. You can read my article titled, ‘on a light note’. On days that I’m stressed out, i look out for jokes that can ease the tension.

5) It’s been ages since you ate breakfast. Many people in the working class are guilty of this. Eating breakfast helps to keep off hunger pangs that are usually present by lunch time for non-breakfast people, this makes the body hold on to every calorie of food taken during lunch.

6) You don't usually have a good sleep or feel rested by the time you wake up in the morning. Try a cold bath before you sleep at night and ensure your sleep clothes are as free on you as possible. If the weather is really hot, do you have to sleep with clothes on?

7) You're hardly ever alert these days, especially mentally. Take a vacation. There's a saying, 'Rest or be laid to rest'. Some people call it the law of Sabbath. You're of better use to yourself and others when you're refreshed. Opportunities are on the increase on several top vacation spots/resort centers in the world and how you can access them at almost no cost. I'm ready to go for mine anytime i choose in the course of the year. You can make money and have a luxury vacation as well. Check out the article at deoluakinyemi.com if you want to know how!

I'll be back later with more tips. Do have a great day!

SLOWLY BUT SURELY

Last weekend was a very interesting one, saturday was particularly interesting for me because it was the first time in my life i was voting! I made up my mind that i was going to, come what may. As i entered the school compound which served as the polling centre and made my way to the queue, a middle aged man approached me and asked to see the code on my voters' card so he could help me locate the exact queue i was to join. I told him not to bother and that i could read and find my way around. I then realized he and many of his guys had offered to help others and of course, had the illiterates and oldies as their target, they even told them exactly what spot on the ballot paper to thumbprint! I looked around and saw that majority of the people at that polling centre were unread (maybe it also has to do with the area where i live o!), the INEC officials didn't look happy doing the work and looked far from being comfortable, they were definitely broke and would jump at any opportunity to make some money. Some people beside me started arguing at a point and the supervising INEC official told everyone to pack up and go home, meanwhile, there were policemen around who were gisting at a distance. You could see indifference in everyone. No one cared if things went well. I saw how much poverty and deprivation had eaten into their thinking, it's a mindset that doesn't think long term and it will take years to change. I sometimes catch myself thinking some thoughts which i know are not products of a liberated mind. Nigeria has a long way to go and slowly but surely, we'll get there. When our minds are liberated, then we can make accurate decisions.

I went to visit a friend yesterday who told me that at her own polling centre, someone's ballot paper was snatched from him by an INEC official and dropped into the ballot box because he was making to thumbprint a party which was against what he favoured. I was enraged! I thought INEC was meant to take a neutral stand in this process. The results of the Governorship election for my state is yet to be out because of attempts to rig it, they decided to make it a do or die affair. Several people have been killed. But generally, i'm encouraged. We're gradually migrating from having touts as leaders, i'm sure more intelligent leaders with proven experience in managing people and resources will step out to contest in the next election. Some people said the elections were rigged. Is it possible to have a leader in power when God has not put him there? even if He gets there, he'll be out before you know it, all God needs to do is snap a finger!

Have a great week!

A PERSONAL LESSON FROM EASTER

Easter season is about the most powerful season within the calendar year. It’s a season in which the events that made it to be depict the highest expression of love; it gives hope and confidence in the sacrifice of the only begotten son of God – in our place! I believe the season gives meaning to the essence of life.

An incident occurred yesterday that drove home more to me, the importance of Easter. I sent my daughter my only begotten (for now) to my parents-in-law to spend a week; they live a couple of hours away from us. Parting with her was a lot harder than I thought; a family member took her down. I waved to her till the car was out of sight, called several times during the journey and questioned if it was a good idea after all. I could not help but laugh at how fretful I became, I had to caution myself not to call too often because I didn’t want to create the impression that I didn’t trust my daughter with them.

I got home to miss her usual warm, hearty welcome and her incessant disturbances about everything. I assured myself it was only for a week. I actually could not help but laugh at how I had suddenly become.

I wondered and tried to imagine how much it must have cost God to give up his son to die for a people who he had not guarantee were going to accept this huge sacrifice. He watched his son die when He had the power to reverse things, this was because he knew better, that Jesus had to die for their to be redemption from eternal damnation. He gave us hope and he gave us life for death. This is the highest show of love.

Happy Easter!

Hi People, hope you had a great week. Here's a write up i read and i thought to share it with my readers, it really got me thinking about what the real essence of life should be and to be grateful for the gift of life.....

LIFE IS A GIFT

Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one Maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.

Life is a gift, Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, And fulfill it.

Enjoy your weekend!!!

On a light note!


Here's a joke i read and i felt i should share it with you all. Here...

A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, is to say, "Hallelujah!" The only way to make the donkey stop, is to say, "Amen!" The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions. "Hallelujah!" shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately. "This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah" he rode off, very proud of his new purchase.

The man traveled for a long time through the mountains. As he headed towards a cliff, he tried to remember the word to make the donkey stop. "Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going. "Oh, no..." "Bible...Church!... Please! Stop!!" shouted the man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff. Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer... "Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain, AMEN." The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff. Hallelujah!" the man shouted.......

Have a great week guys full of joy and fulfillment. Ciao!

CHILD SUICIDE?!!

Hi People,

Hope you had a nice weekend. I had to rest on Sunday after a full week and a whole day in school on Saturday. Yes, my MMP programme is going on well.

I heard of an incident about 2 weeks ago and will like to share it with you and have your thoughts on it. A neighbour hitched a ride with me on a wednesday morning when he told me this: His wife, currently running her NYSC programme, works in a high class Nursery/Primary School in one of the choicest parts of Lagos; of course, the pupils are children of the very rich and the school runs an American curriculum (don't ask me for the name pls!)

One of the primary school pupils reportedly committed suicide because his friends and classmates had been consistently making fun of him about an obvious shortcoming he had, "what shortcoming? you might ask, the shortcoming was that his friends travelled to the UK for vacation that year and he didn't! It apparently had become unbearable for him, so he decided to put an end to his life since his parents didn't deem it proper to take him for vacation; he just couldn't handle the 'humiliation from his friends'. Can you imagine that?

I was dumbfounded for lack of a better word to describe how shocked i was at what i had just heard. I thought to myself; afterall, this particular action is the norm and typical of the system they emulate. I was really sad, i thought of the parents of the child, no action of theirs could have brought the boy back, they would have been full of regrets and deep, deep sorrow.


I already had a little background about the school that made me wonder how possible it is for discipline to be upheld within the system. There was no school uniform, everybody came to school in mofty; i heard recently that they have a uniform now; my neighbor even told me that his wife doesn't intend to work there after her NYSC because she said teachers were not well treated especially by the parents who feel they put food on their tables, they humiliate teachers who try to 'discipline' their children.

Westernization is good, early exposure for children is good; but shouldn't it be healthy for the children, especially on the long run? Is this not doing more harm than good? For a primary school child to go as far as taking his life is extremely scary and saddening for me. I heard of another school that does not hold lectures on Valentine's day, the whole school is heavily decorated with love colours and all students are compelled to bring and exchange gifts. I think instilling sound values into these children is the best thing we can do for them, when they're not properly trained, their values are weak and they become very vain, counting nothing as really valuable.

All said, i just want to close with this question: Do we leave the training of our children in the hands of a school whose value systems we're not totally proud of? I really need your comments on this.

Catch ya later, have a great week!

NOT A CARE

I really wonder what life will be without little children, they almost always make one see the bright side of things. Having children around helps a great deal in relieving stress and worry and beyond this, remind us of how we should approach life's challenges. Have you ever noticed that the face of an average adult lights up at the sight of a little child, especially cheerful, cute ones like this babe here....

For example, i have to constantly think of getting all i have to do done, and in good time. I need to think about ensuring my term paper write-up is ready, that i'm not late to school/work, that there's food at home...etc. My daughter's not even bothered if she doesn't do her homework, who cares, she just feels that life is beautiful and that Mum & Dad are cool. So when i'm worked up or a little anxious, she walks up to me and asks, "Mummy, how are you?". That question relaxes me, i always respond with a smile and tell her i'm fine.

The bible admonishes us not to worry but we should cast our cares on God cos he cares for us. Anytime my daughter is in some form of discomfort, i don't need anyone to tell me she's my responsibility, i don't relax until she's been fully attended to. God in the same vein is responsible for us and assures us of his ever abiding presence.

My encouragement to you all is to choose not to worry even in the face of visible reasons to, it paralyzes initiative and makes one unproductive, moreso, the issue doesn't get resolved. So, why worry? If i were you, i'll start to consciously worry less.

Akuna matata, Have a problem-free philosophy

Hmmm... this phrase has formed some of my thoughts for about a week now. In a bid to seek greener pastures and increase their income base, married couples live seperately and rarely see each other. Across the ocean addresses couples who're thousand of miles apart, some for periods ranging from between 3-10 years.

The question i never fail to ask myself is " To what end?" The plan to raise funds for the family by this means is at the expense of building the family unit and making it stronger. No one is better for it.

I know an old family couple with a similar experience. The father left the country while the children were still in primary school and never came home until they were out of the University. However, he made money while overseas, he sent money, cars, everything to his wife and children. They had every material thing but the love of a father and the presence of a father figure was missing. The mother was the pillar for the family, she was there for the children. When their father came back after several years, it was clear they could do without him; they had done without him for this long anyway. Now the family relationship is strained and every man is to himself, the man never really networked with his friends while outside the country, so on his final return,he was alone.

I guess the above story was an extreme one, though it happened live o, but couples that seperate for not that long still get their relationship affected. Some women/men want to travel out for their masters or get a juicy job offer and they just want to do their thing/live their lives even if it means relocating. The result isn't eventually really worth it.

Love across the ocean? What do you think?

Hi Peeps!

I told myself i had to update this blog before going home today, not after the link after the link went down the first time as soon as i clicked 'publish'. I hadn't saved, so i had to do this again. I've got a full year ahead of me, it's great cos it shows that i'm taking steps that will ensure that i achieve my goals.

I commenced lectures at Unilag where i registered for Masters in Managerial Psychology last week. This course is going to span 2 years and 4 days per week. It's going to be tasking but i'm determined to give it my best shot. Saturday engagements, choir rehearsals and some weekend engagements will have to be on hold for now. But i know it will be worth it. I registered for this same course last year but i felt i wouldn't be able to cope, but this year, no way to giving up!

What about you? Have you started ticking off your goals' to do list' for 2007? Don't forget to keep those goals within your view so you can take steps needed to achieve them. There's a great feeling of satisfaction that comes with making measurable progress.

So, i look forward to your comments, i need to how far with you and those powerful words you carefully, thoughtfully drafted out on paper at the beginning of this year. If you can conceive it, you can achieve it.

All the best!

MAMA SANTA!!!

Yeah, that's me! I was supposed to have posted this article, and this picture particularly much earlier. But it ain't a bad note to end a week on, thank God it's Friday!

I sang at my church carol which held a week to xmas, it was an event we had spent weeks preparing for. We rehearsed so much that i lost my voice about 3 days to the carol. So i had to keep mute or just mouth the songs all through the last set of rehearsals; i got my voice back, though not fully by the D-day. In all, it went well; i tried not to sing too loudly so my voice wouldn't crack .

I heaved a sigh of relief after the programme, finally it was over. But there's a message i'll like us all to take with us this new year, that's to carry what we call the message of xmas beyond the season throughout the new year. Let's live our lives this year beyond ourselves, let's love, give and share.

Happy new year!

2007 GOALS

Happy new year folks! I guess the festive season was wonderful with lots to eat and drink; for my partners in the exercise, hope your water therapy didn't suffer a set-back:-)). I'm sure we're all prepared to face the new year with determination to achieve our goals.

Now, talking about goals, where i worship, we're usually encouraged to come for the watchnight service with our written goals so they can be prayed over and we can be encouraged on how we can make our goals happen.

Towards the end of 2006, i went to get the book where i had my goals written and i discovered that in the course of the year, i hardly went over those goals to check how i was doing and that some of those goals were not achieved simply because i did not keep them in view, they slipped away from my memory. I had some practical, workable goals which didn't materialize due to lack of tracking.

So i made a decision to write my goals in a diary which i take to work and open everyday. In that way, i'm more likely to keep them before my eyes. I recommend we find what works for us and stay with it. I wish you all the best as you aspire to achieve your desire! May God help us.