BUT WHY?

Why in God's name will a man raise his hands to beat his wife? It's a regular feature in some homes. Some people are quick though to raise the point that wife battering is common in men who get drunk regularly. But I think it's not very true.

While growing up, I had a neighbor who had regular episodes of beating his wife every other day. I remember vividly one morning when i was neatly dressed in my school uniform and headed for my dad's car (was in primary school then), I saw my neighbor’s wife run out of the house in her panties only! The husband was hot on her heels ready to really beat her up seriously. Almost immediately after, their four children came out arguing and taking sides, ready to fight too. It was an ugly sight, looking back now; my heart bleeds for the children, two of which later became victims of teenage pregnancy.

A number of people have anger problem and very few have been able to manage the problem. Self control is a strong virtue which every man who will lead or head a home must possess. A very interesting and encouraging point is that self control can be learnt and developed. I know one person who used to be so hot tempered that his younger ones dared not stand within a short radius from him whenever he was angry because he would ‘land’ them hot slaps! Without a willingness to change followed by corresponding actions, the wife would today be his punching bag. In my University days, I once saw one of the hottest ‘chics’ on campus one day as she was led to her room by a few friends; she was a sorry sight – bloodshot eyes, swollen face….. I later learnt that she was beaten by her boyfriend and that it was a regular occurrence but that it had never been as bad as it was that day. She was reported to have sworn that she would never go back to the guy again. To my surprise, the week after, they were back together again. Na wah o, I wondered why the guy constantly beat the girl and why she always went back to him. They were not married ke, so why could she not walk away finally? It’s rather appalling.

I believe strongly that no man has an excuse for beating his wife, or are some men truly justified for this action? Some women are reputed for constantly provoking and infuriating their husbands by using cutting remarks and statements on them (verbal weapon) while the husbands handle them physically. I’ve heard a marriage counselor say that you can know a man who is likely to beat his wife by the way he treats animals or even inanimate objects when he’s angry. Ladies, don’t let love blind you to those aggressive tendencies, shine your eyes!

Like I usually tell my younger friends, I’ll end this by saying, “May you marry your own!”